Cubs fans can charge with Cubs and Wrigley

Not only are the Cubs charging in the National Leagueawarding of the congressional medal of honor...!). Well,
Central this season, but so are their fans. The city isyou get the point.
selling off pieces of Wrigley Field, one piece at a time!And what if they don't pay their credit card bill? Would
There is something for just about every price range,the "Wrigley Repo Patrol" come and repossess the
from $5 tickets from past games to a rare stadiumitems? How about if they lost their house or car or
seat that was accidentally colored wrong-priced ateven had their wages garnished because they went
$1,500-and everything in between. There is even aoverboard by buying a bunch of old bricks? Oh, and
pretty comprehensive guide of what was and, in somehere's the neat part about buying a brick from the
cases, still is, for sale.famed ballpark... with each brick is a map showing
Âexactly where that brick was!
But there is a rather bizarre twist to this. THEY TAKEHey! This could start a whole new trend! Cities forced
CREDIT CARDS! In these days, when not only is ourto build new stadiums or risk losing their team can sell
country almost 1 trillion (that's a lot of zeros, people!off parts of the doomed previous stadium to help
And half of that is to communist China) dollars in creditoffset the cost of the new one! Even if they got just
card debt,with a basic American household owing an$1,000 (and what piece of stadium wouldn't get at least
average of $3,400 (and even McDonald's taking creditthat?), that's $1,000 the citizens wouldn't have to pay!
cards now), here is an opportunity for us to pump upHere in Indianapolis, we are forced to scrap a
that average even more. Not that it wouldn't be neat24-year-old, 63,000-seat dome stadium that cost over
to own a piece of one of the most beloved-if not the$300,000,000 and, during these financially tough times,
most beloved-baseball parks in America, but this is justpony up a stunning $1,000,000,000 (that's $1 BILLION!)
inviting trouble! In some states, people can buy lotteryfor a "Lucas Oil Stadium" that isn't built for decent
tickets with their credit cards... it just doesn't seem right.acoustics and/or for baseball, should the opportunity
Although the proceeds go to a good cause, I cancome to us!
easily see an avid Cubs fan getting carried away withAm I way out there in left field, or does all of the
this!entrepreneurial imperialism hit just a little too close to
Can you imagine what that fan's spouse will thinkhome... plate?
when they look at the itemized part of their credit cardWhatever "base" is, you have to give the Cubs
bill? I foresee a lot of Cubs fans getting the mail and"credit": it's a great way to raise money. The
hiding the bill in their billing cycle! How would one explainonly objection I have to it is the whole credit card deal.
a $1,000 charge on the bill for old Wrigley memorabilia?And with the new draconian bankruptcy bill that is now
Talk about an impulse buy!in full effect, which doesn't even allow a person to
I can hear it now:declare on medical bills and/or student loans, and gives
"Honey, what are these old bleacher chairs doing in ourno exceptions whatsoever to the tens of thousands
dining room and living room? And where did all ourof uninsured hurricane victims, it could be just too
furniture go?"tempting for a die-hard Cubs fan to slide right into deep
Hey, maybe these buyers can use the money theydebt and strike out. And all to a bad, bad "no-no
got for their furniture to pay for the bleacher seats!decision" pitcher!
They can even make up some story about how aThis is just one of many, many reasons why I don't
certain piece of their furniture has some historicalhave a credit card!
significance, like...Perhaps the Bush Administration can raise funds to
"This is the Texas leather EZ-Boy recliner in whichoffset the $2 BILLION per week we are spending in
George W. Bush almost choked to death when he gotIraq by selling off the pieces of shattered buildings and
wasted and atea pretzel!" (Oh, how famous a chairlives the undeclared war has caused. Oh! Sell
and a pretzel those would be! Such a conspiratorialpieces of the World Trade building to help pay for
couple that would make! They would surely be"Homeland Security." NO, WAIT! How about an "adopt
executed under the U.S. Patriot Act by burning, theira corrupt lobbyist program" to help pay off the 3
ashes put on display at the Smithsonian! But notTRILLION DOLLAR budget deficit (much of it to
before the ticker tape parade praised them as "TheCommunist China...talk about "Homeland Insecurity"!).
objects that saved the planet" and the ceremonial THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!