| Not only are the Cubs charging in the
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| | the planet" and the ceremonial awarding
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| National League Central this season, but
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| | of the congressional medal of honor...!).
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| so are their fans. The city is selling
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| | Well, you get the point.
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| off pieces of Wrigley Field, one piece
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| | And what if they don't pay their credit
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| at a time! There is something for just
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| | card bill? Would the "Wrigley Repo
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| about every price range, from $5 tickets
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| | Patrol" come and repossess the items?
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| from past games to a rare stadium seat
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| | How about if they lost their house or car
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| that was accidentally colored
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| | or even had their wages garnished
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| wrong-priced at $1,500-and everything in
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| | because they went overboard by buying a
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| between. There is even a pretty
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| | bunch of old bricks? Oh, and here's the
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| comprehensive guide of what was and, in
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| | neat part about buying a brick from the
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| some cases, still is, for sale.
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| | famed ballpark... with each brick is a
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| Â
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| | map showing exactly where that brick was!
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| But there is a rather bizarre twist to
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| | Hey! This could start a whole new trend!
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| this. THEY TAKE CREDIT CARDS! In these
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| | Cities forced to build new stadiums or
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| days, when not only is our country
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| | risk losing their team can sell off
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| almost 1 trillion (that's a lot of zeros,
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| | parts of the doomed previous stadium to
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| people! And half of that is to communist
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| | help offset the cost of the new one!
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| China) dollars in credit card debt,with
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| | Even if they got just $1,000 (and what
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| a basic American household owing an
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| | piece of stadium wouldn't get at least
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| average of $3,400 (and even McDonald's
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| | that?), that's $1,000 the citizens
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| taking credit cards now), here is an
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| | wouldn't have to pay!
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| opportunity for us to pump up that
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| | Here in Indianapolis, we are forced to
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| average even more. Not that it wouldn't
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| | scrap a 24-year-old, 63,000-seat dome
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| be neat to own a piece of one of the
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| | stadium that cost over $300,000,000 and,
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| most beloved-if not the most
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| | during these financially tough times,
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| beloved-baseball parks in America, but
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| | pony up a stunning $1,000,000,000
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| this is just inviting trouble! In some
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| | (that's $1 BILLION!) for a "Lucas Oil
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| states, people can buy lottery tickets
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| | Stadium" that isn't built for decent
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| with their credit cards... it just
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| | acoustics and/or for baseball, should
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| doesn't seem right. Although the
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| | the opportunity come to us!
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| proceeds go to a good cause, I can easily
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| | Am I way out there in left field, or
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| see an avid Cubs fan getting carried
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| | does all of the entrepreneurial
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| away with this!
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| | imperialism hit just a little too close
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| Can you imagine what that fan's spouse
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| | to home... plate?
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| will think when they look at the itemized
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| | Whatever "base" is, you have to give the
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| part of their credit card bill? I
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| | Cubs "credit": it's a great way to raise
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| foresee a lot of Cubs fans getting the
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| | money. The only objection I have to it
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| mail and hiding the bill in their billing
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| | is the whole credit card deal. And with
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| cycle! How would one explain a $1,000
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| | the new draconian bankruptcy bill that is
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| charge on the bill for old Wrigley
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| | now in full effect, which doesn't even
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| memorabilia? Talk about an impulse buy!
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| | allow a person to declare on medical
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| I can hear it now:
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| | bills and/or student loans, and gives no
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| "Honey, what are these old bleacher
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| | exceptions whatsoever to the tens of
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| chairs doing in our dining room and
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| | thousands of uninsured hurricane victims,
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| living room? And where did all our
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| | it could be just too tempting for a
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| furniture go?"
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| | die-hard Cubs fan to slide right into
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| Hey, maybe these buyers can use the
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| | deep debt and strike out. And all to a
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| money they got for their furniture to pay
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| | bad, bad "no-no decision" pitcher!
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| for the bleacher seats! They can even
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| | This is just one of many, many reasons
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| make up some story about how a certain
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| | why I don't have a credit card!
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| piece of their furniture has some
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| | Perhaps the Bush Administration can
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| historical significance, like...
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| | raise funds to offset the $2 BILLION per
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| "This is the Texas leather EZ-Boy
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| | week we are spending in Iraq by selling
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| recliner in which George W. Bush almost
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| | off the pieces of shattered buildings and
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| choked to death when he got wasted and
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| | lives the undeclared war has caused.Â
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| atea pretzel!" (Oh, how famous a chair
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| | Oh! Sell pieces of the World Trade
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| and a pretzel those would be! Such a
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| | building to help pay for "Homeland
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| conspiratorial couple that would make!
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| | Security." NO, WAIT! How about an "adopt
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| They would surely be executed under the
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| | a corrupt lobbyist program" to help pay
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| U.S. Patriot Act by burning, their ashes
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| | off the 3 TRILLION DOLLAR budget deficit
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| put on display at the Smithsonian! But
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| | (much of it to Communist China...talk
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| not before the ticker tape parade
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| | about "Homeland Insecurity"!).
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| praised them as "The objects that saved
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| | Â THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!
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