| Do you wish you could repair the neglected or | | | | begin. |
| damaged relationships in your life? | | | | All behavior is meaningful. It has its own logic. It's own |
| It is easier than you may think. | | | | rationale. It is important to listen for the meaning behind |
| Stately horse farms comprise a central feature of the | | | | the words as we listen to our old friend talk, and try to |
| central Kentucky landscape. They are the heart and | | | | understand his/her perspective. To ignore the problem |
| soul of the Bluegrass. I've noticed that when a fence is | | | | is the coward's way. And it is so easy to forget how |
| broken on one of the farms, it won't stay down for | | | | important all of our relationships are to us. |
| long. Soon a crew will be out there mending the fence, | | | | Don't Attack Or Counter-attack, Just Listen |
| and making it safe again. | | | | We need to hear our old friend's side of the story. |
| But what happens when a good friendship breaks, and | | | | When he/she is finished, we can share ours, as long |
| the two parties refuse to talk to each other? You | | | | as we do not start another disagreement. Admit your |
| know the scenario... a silly argument or sudden | | | | side of being wrong. Apologize and move on. |
| disagreement may end in hurt and despair. A mere | | | | Whatever you do, put the battle axe down. It doesn't |
| misunderstanding can come between the best of | | | | matter who was right or wrong, or what the |
| friends. | | | | disagreement was about. What really matters is the |
| When this happens, we are in disbelief that our good | | | | relationship. No matter how large the rift has become, |
| friend has let us down. We believe it is mostly his or | | | | your relationship doesn't have to end up a wreck, if |
| her fault, seldom our own. Time goes by and the old | | | | someone will step forward and act affirmatively to |
| friends remain silent. Neither will contact the other. An | | | | save it. It's not just about two people. It's about two |
| awkward and vengeful silence freezes the relationship. | | | | people who have a relationship, which has a life of its |
| Hopes Of Reconciliation | | | | own. |
| People may secretly want reconciliation, but they're | | | | For example, a marriage is more than a union of two |
| afraid to make the first move. They are curious about | | | | individuals. It's a third state they have created. The sum |
| how their old friend is doing, but too angry, | | | | of the parts is greater than the whole. |
| embarrassed or ashamed to call. | | | | Great friendships give in countless ways. Just think of |
| They are loathe to take the risk of re-establishing | | | | what they can mean to us, and where we'd be |
| contact. | | | | without them. It is almost always in the interest of both |
| Sometimes it's pride that keeps them apart. Or each | | | | parties to repair the problem, rather than letting the |
| party feels that the other is wrong, and expects him or | | | | relationship dissolve. |
| her to make the first move. A person may feel | | | | Healing Steps |
| betrayed, refusing to believe that the good friend | | | | 1. Healing your broken relationship begins the moment |
| behaved so badly or out-of-character. Feelings may | | | | one person steps up and re-establishes contact, |
| be so strong that he or she may never seek | | | | sending the clear message that he/she cares more |
| reconciliation. | | | | about the relationship than proving his side of the |
| Unfortunately, each person in a disagreement or feud | | | | dispute. |
| only knows his or her own perspective. The other | | | | 2. Offer a sincere apology. Admit you were wrong in |
| person's point of view remains a mystery, leaving his | | | | some way. |
| her conduct a bit confusing to the other. | | | | 3. Tell the person how important and special he/she is |
| For every person in a relationship, family or | | | | to you. A good friend is special! |
| organization, there is a different perspective. When we | | | | 4. Tell your friend that you will not disappoint him/her in |
| don't know the other person's perspective or unique | | | | the near future, and you'll be there for him/her. |
| take on an event, we are at a distinct disadvantage in | | | | There is no replacement for a true friend... the kind of |
| interpreting his/her behavior. The only way to | | | | friend you will be if you take steps to repair the rift in |
| accurately comprehend our old friend's position is to | | | | your precious relationship. Take the initiative to heal the |
| hear him or her out. Communicate. Listen. Listen | | | | broken relationships in your life. You'll save people a lot |
| without judgement or criticism... only then can healing | | | | of pain, including yourself. |