| Can you remember what it was like to be a kid and | | | | Clothes" requiring a lot of supplies. If an instructor |
| really, really want something? To feel like all your future | | | | needed a box of paper clips or a lemon, they came to |
| happiness hinged on your ability to get your hands on | | | | me so that I could check through their budget to see if |
| that one item, be it a pony, a bicycle or a comic book? | | | | they had enough money to make the purchase. If they |
| To look forward to the next gift-giving holiday with | | | | did, I put their request on the shopping list for my staff |
| hope and worry? To empty your piggy bank, count, | | | | to buy. There were a lot of boxes of paper clips and a |
| recount and calculate how many more months | | | | lot of lemons... And rocket engines and pink lace and |
| allowance you still needed? Of course you can. And | | | | whiffle ball bats and clown noses and frozen turkeys. |
| you can probably remember exactly what it was that | | | | And then there were the bogus requests. One of my |
| you were saving up for. For me, it was a horse. And | | | | favorites was a requisition for liquid nitrogen and no, |
| I'm certain that you can remember whether or not you | | | | that wasn't a joke; someone was really expecting me |
| ever managed to get it. Me? I didn't. | | | | to get it for their class. But more frequently the bogus |
| But no matter what the details of your memories, | | | | requests came from instructors (all college students) |
| happy or sad, you learned something from them. In a | | | | who obviously never had an allowance as a child and |
| nutshell, you learned about money -- what it can and | | | | weren't paying for their tuition, meal plan, books or |
| can't buy, how it doesn't grow on trees, and why you | | | | toothpaste. Once an architecture instructor asked me |
| need to be careful about when and where you spend | | | | to get something like $75 worth of foam board for a |
| it. Simple lessons learned in a simple way, at a simple | | | | one time activity when he only had a budget of $100 |
| time in life. | | | | for the entire 6 weeks! I remember fighting with him, |
| Sometimes I wonder if the emotions people attach to | | | | trying to convince him that even though using plain tag |
| their allowance-related memories aren't drowning out | | | | board wouldn't work quite as well for the activity it |
| the lessons. So often what we remember most is the | | | | was still better than having no money or supplies left |
| disappointment of unfulfilled dreams, or the weeks, | | | | for the rest of the summer. Not long after, my staff |
| months or years we spent feeling like have-nots. | | | | and I adopted the Rolling Stones' "You Can't Always |
| These negative feelings tempt us to forget the | | | | Get What You Want" as our official office theme |
| valuable lessons connected to them, and it seems to | | | | song. |
| me like too many people are giving in to their | | | | Too many of the kids attending the summer program |
| temptations, turning a blind eye to the lessons they | | | | were a kind of spoilt I could never have imagined. They |
| once knew, and vowing that their children will never | | | | would roll in on the first day with an entire set of |
| want for anything. | | | | authentic Louis Vuitton luggage and turn their noses up |
| Not all life's lessons are pleasant to learn, but that | | | | at the college dorm rooms they were expected to |
| doesn't change the fact that it's still better to live | | | | sleep in, leading me to wonder how they were going |
| through them when you've still got time to learn from | | | | to get through the summer. The thing about kids is that |
| them. Not getting that horse as a kid has, in the long | | | | they're very good at adapting. The first few days |
| run, made me a lot happier than I would have been if | | | | were always tough, but most of them made it through |
| my parents had spent way beyond their means to | | | | just fine without their Starbucks, cell phones or favorite |
| see my dream come true. For one thing, our | | | | evening meal. Yet I pale to think how quickly these |
| already-tight family budget would have snapped and | | | | same kids adapted right back to their old lifestyles |
| I'm sure my parents would have snapped too. I | | | | upon returning home. |
| wouldn't have learned how to save because I wouldn't | | | | So the moral of the story is this: allowance is good, not |
| have had to pull $8 from my piggy bank -- two weeks | | | | bad! Remember the lessons you learned from it and if |
| allowance -- for each horseback riding lesson. Later, | | | | you have kids of your own, do them the same favor |
| when I was big enough, I'd learn a little bit more about | | | | your parents did you and be tough about allowance. |
| work by helping out at the horse farm in exchange for | | | | As soon as your children are mature enough to |
| free lessons. And in the end, after years of working on | | | | understand the cause and effect relationships of |
| the farm and riding, I realised that horses live longer | | | | money (probably sometime between the ages of 8 |
| than my dream was going to and that I'd been having | | | | and 10), set a weekly amount, clear requirements for |
| the same experience, or maybe even a better one, | | | | "earning" the allowance, and boundaries about what |
| than my horse-owning friends who were now stuck | | | | kinds of things your children are expected to buy for |
| with a very expensive pet they couldn't take to college | | | | themselves. And then, stick to those boundaries. |
| with them. | | | | This is the hard part. For example, if your son is saving |
| Two summer camp experiences stick out in my mind. | | | | up for something he will probably have to give up other |
| The first was when I was about 10 years old, at a day | | | | things he wants; you need to be willing to watch him |
| camp for Girl Scouts. I remember explaining the | | | | go without. Don't "reward" him by giving him extra |
| agreement my parents and I had about my horseback | | | | money or buying him the things he is giving up. To do |
| riding lessons to an inquisitive camp counselor. Actually, | | | | so would be to completely undermine the lessons of |
| I think it was the camp director. She was amazed that | | | | allowance. He is supposed to realise that if he spends |
| I was willing to forfeit all my allowance money (and all | | | | all his allowance on a pair of fancy sneakers, he won't |
| the candy, toys and whatever else kids spend their | | | | have any money left to go to the movies that |
| money on) for one half hour of horseback riding twice | | | | weekend and show off those snazzy new shoes. |
| a month. I was amazed that she was so amazed, | | | | Instead, reward his good budgeting behavior by giving |
| amazed enough that I still remember the conversation. I | | | | him additional privileges and freedoms regarding his |
| thought that was just the way things were; everyone | | | | money (maybe let him buy those concert tickets, etc.) |
| had to prioritize their desires/needs and make | | | | By doing so you also give him additional opportunities |
| sacrifices You couldn't have everything. | | | | to learn how to be responsible with his money. |
| In retrospect, I still think that's the way things are -- we | | | | It won't be easy, especially if your family's finances |
| do have to prioritize and make sacrifices - but I'm a lot | | | | allow room for occasional splurges, but when you're |
| less surprised that my camp director was so shocked | | | | tempted to stray from your own rules, just remember, |
| that I, at the age of 10, seemed to know this. Ten | | | | you're probably in this position because you learned |
| years later, I would be the camp employee shocked | | | | about money as a kid. And if you don't find yourself |
| by what kids do and don't know about money. I spent | | | | rolling in extra cash, then setting a budget for your kids |
| a few summers working at an academic summer | | | | (and for yourself regarding what you'll spend on luxury |
| program, a cross between a summer school and a | | | | items for them) can help you balance your own |
| summer camp. I was the "Supply Office" manager, | | | | household budget and adopt frugality as an entire |
| responsible for the program's entire inventory and | | | | family commitment. |
| purchasing of classroom supplies. I know that doesn't | | | | I wasn't a genius at age 10 (some things never |
| sound like much, but the program was home to 700 | | | | change) just because I knew that I needed to prioritize |
| kids for six straight weeks and the number of classes | | | | my wants and needs; I was just lucky -- lucky that my |
| was somewhere around 300, each with its own | | | | parents had stood firm and taught me the lessons of |
| budget, and many with titles like "Cooking with | | | | allowance. |
| Chemistry" or "Fashion Design -- Make Your Own | | | | |