| Recently, I came across a tread in a forum | | | | others, but we often give ourselves a bit |
| that stopped me dead in my tracks. It was | | | | more slack. We allow excuses for our own and |
| about falling off. One contributor complained | | | | our horse's behavior to hold us back, and |
| that she fell of regularly, sometimes even | | | | then we use those same excuses to explain why |
| several times during a lesson. I was amazed; | | | | we haven't become the successful riders that |
| I couldn't quite figure it out. | | | | we want to be. It's not surprising that we |
| | | | try to go a little easier on ourselves since |
| Was she much younger than me to be able to | | | | we already feel pressured and overwhelmed by |
| allow herself the luxury of falling out with | | | | our obligations and the expectations of |
| such regularity and risk severe injury? Was | | | | others. |
| she very good at falling, like a martial arts | | | | |
| expert, so that she never got injured? Was | | | | Demanding the best from ourselves is not the |
| each fall a real fall, or was she | | | | same as expecting perfection or never being |
| exaggerating the frequency and severity of | | | | satisfied with our riding progress. It's not |
| her falls? I have seen "falls" that can at | | | | about being unreasonable with ourselves or |
| best accurately be described as slip-offs, | | | | trying to push ourselves or our horses beyond |
| where the only part of the rider that is | | | | our true capabilities. Demanding the best |
| injured is her pride. | | | | from ourselves is about being honest about |
| | | | our capabilities, about learning how to |
| Falling off always results in injury, if not | | | | stretch our limits and refusing to buy into |
| physically, then mentally. | | | | excuses that limit our potential. |
| | | | |
| Maybe it has become a habit, for both horse | | | | Today, take a look at your own |
| and rider. Maybe it is by now even a form of | | | | accomplishments, and assess your and your |
| communication between them. And where does | | | | horse's true strengths. Have you been |
| the instructor come into all this, allowing | | | | pushing yourself as hard as you can? Or have |
| it to go on? I was under the impression that | | | | you been slacking off because it seems like |
| a horse that dumps a rider regularly is a | | | | too much work to step out of your comfort |
| seriously disrespectful horse and that this | | | | zone? Has falling of become such a habit that |
| sort of behavior should not be allowed to | | | | it forms part of your comfort zone? |
| continue. | | | | |
| | | | If you are honest with yourself, you may |
| I may be wrong, but it seems to me that this | | | | realize that you have not been pushing |
| rider allows her horse to walk all over her, | | | | yourself as hard as you can, and therefore |
| risking injury to both herself and her horse. | | | | you haven't accomplished as much as you are |
| | | | truly capable of. Changing this is as simple |
| So often, we replicate the way we behave | | | | as demanding the best from yourself, starting |
| amongst other people in the way we behave | | | | right now. |
| towards our horses. If we allow other people | | | | |
| to take advantage of us, because we lack | | | | It all boils down to a lack of self-esteem |
| self-respect, we allow our horse to do so | | | | and self-confidence. Riders, who have lost |
| too. Except in the latter case, we risk | | | | their riding confidence for whatever reason, |
| serious injury; mentally and physically. | | | | should work on it pro-actively. Although |
| | | | there are many books available on the |
| Tackling this problem will not be an easy | | | | subject, it is difficult to increase our |
| exercise. Firstly, the rider should | | | | self-confidence all in one go. It is better |
| understand that she should allow nothing but | | | | to do so gradually. An equestrian |
| the most respectful behavior from her horse | | | | self-confidence e-course, spread out over |
| (as well as from everyone else), because she | | | | several weeks, in combination with a |
| deserves it. And secondly, she should demand | | | | reputable horse training e-course, will allow |
| only the very best performance from herself. | | | | both you and your horse to adapt in your own |
| | | | good time. |
| We're really good at demanding the best from | | | | |